


He Was Never The Same

by eldestbreath



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Karkat - Freeform, redrom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldestbreath/pseuds/eldestbreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything changed once Jade had entered the game; even the well-being of a person she held dear.</p>
<p>This basically takes a left turn from canon after Jade entered LOFAF. This was the first fanfic I ever wrote, and I put a lot of work into it. I hope you all enjoy!!!! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Was Never The Same

There aren’t many things that are able to make me sad. I try to be as cheerful and optimistic as I possibly can, because why would anyone want to be sad? Seriously, I never got that about some people. I always thought it was better to live as happily as you can, because life is too short to wallow in despair. But those are others’ decisions, I guess. I’m my own person, and I’m happy with who I am!

So why do I, Jade Harley, feel like utter crap?

*sigh* Well, it has to do with... him, and the special relationship I wish we could have. It’s kind of a long story, so I brought some snacks for you to munch on! I hope you enjoy, hehe!

Okay... things were quite bad during Sburb. There’s no question about it. It’s been rough for all of us. Me? I had already lost my Grandpa and Bec prototyped himself, so my friends were all I had left, for the most part. And that was fine with me! Dave, on the other hand... he lost Bro. He would never show it, but I could always sense the emotional torment he just bottled up. I always thought fondly of him, even before Sburb, but I’ll be damned if I met someone with taller walls around their heart. Even Rose. He would always be “sooooo cool!!!!!” and I just kinda grew to like the guy. He was very sweet to me, in his own roundabout way. But after he lost Bro, Dave was absolutely torn apart, and anyone with eyes and a heart could see that. Unfortunately, he wasn’t around long enough for anyone to see it. Here, lemme bring up a past pesterlog so you can get a better idea of what I’m talking about.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

GG: dave! what happened??   
TG: shit harley im fine   
TG: just a big fucking explosion and an asston of green fire   
TG: also bros dead   
GG: oh no!!!   
GG: are you okay???? :(   
TG: of course   
TG: striders are never not okay   
TG: not even ironically so   
TG: im just surprised is all   
TG: its cool   
GG: its not cool, dave!   
GG: you lost your brother, who i know you cared about   
GG: even if it was a very ironic bond, like you constantly told me!!   
GG: you cant just shrug it off like its nothing :(   
TG: look jade   
TG: i know youre just trying to help and all   
TG: but really im feeling p fine over here   
TG: about as fine as roasted turkey on thanksgiving   
TG: stuffed with so much cranberry sauce you could call that shit taxidermied   
TG: and hang it up above your fucking fireplace in your living room where itll stay proudly for everyone to look at   
TG: ironically of course   
TG: so dont worry about me   
TG: im fine   
TG: i kinda expected this to happen anyway   
GG: you did??   
TG: yeah   
TG: so im not torn up   
TG: listen ive gotta go   
TG: striders always gotta get shit taken care of   
TG: ill catch you later harley   
GG: okay   
GG: see you later dave!! :D

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

But I instantly knew that he was hiding a lot of pain. See what I mean? As hard as it is to read him sometimes, it was always easy to tell when he was nervous or distressed. He tends to ramble, which is super cute, by the way. I always loved that about him. *giggle*

Anyway, from that moment, I was determined to be there for him. He had lost really the one person who truly cared for him, and all that was left was us. Literally. I couldn’t bear to see Dave like this, and no one else was going to help him but me. I made sure of it. I even put a reminder on one of my fingers so I wouldn’t forget.

Now let’s fast forward about 24 hours. I didn’t have much to do at the time, so naturally I decided to sit in my room and talk to some of my friends on Pesterchum. My conversation with Dave was still fresh in my mind surprisingly, but he wasn’t online at the moment. John was. Damn, I thought to myself. Oh well. I’m a patient girl. John might know something about Dave’s whereabouts, however, so it was probably wise to contact him.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

GG: john!! :)   
EB: hi jade! what’s up?   
GG: nothing really!   
GG: you up to anything??   
EB: naaaaaaaah, just on lowas, fighting some imps. rose needed some more grist for my house. we’re making some great progress!   
GG: hehe! thats great john! :D   
GG: hey i was wondering if maybe youve seen dave lately?   
GG: i havent heard from him in a while and im getting kind of worried...   
EB: hmm... you know...   
EB: come to think of it, i haven’t heard from him either.   
EB: but i’m sure he’s fine. he’s always off doing gog KNOWS what.   
EB: why, has something happened to dave?   
GG: i dont think so!!!!   
GG: i just worry about you guys a lot because youre my best friends! :p   
EB: you’re so sweet, jade! but seriously, i wouldn’t worry. he probably bored all his imps to tears with his irony! hahahaha.   
GG: youre probably right john! everything will be fine   
GG: well if you hear from him could you let me know?   
EB: sure thing! i’ll pester you the second we talk, okay?   
GG: sounds great, john!!! bye bye! :D

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

No luck with John, which to be completely honest with you? It really sucked! He was best friends with Dave, and so he was my best chance. But now I had Rose. I noticed her log in shortly after I started talking to John. It was a stretch to try talking to her, but I figured I might as well try, just in case. Though, Rose had been a bit distant from the rest of us recently, and I didn’t know why. Thankfully, she answered me.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

GG: hi rose!!! :D   
TT: Hello, Jade. How are you?   
GG: im doing really well!!!!!   
GG: how about you?   
TT: Things appear to be going just as well on my front, fortunately enough. However, I am a bit preoccupied at the present moment.   
GG: whats wrong?? are you in trouble? :(   
TT: I am not in trouble, per se. Nevertheless, my situation would be made slightly easier to deal with if I did not have to speak to anyone right now.   
GG: im really sorry for bothering you rose, but i need to ask you a quick question :o   
TT: What is it?   
GG: have you seen or spoken to dave recently????   
TT: I cannot say I have. I have not spoken to him since you entered. Now, I must take my leave, Jade. I will talk to you later.   
GG: okay XC   
GG: bye rose!!!!!!!!!!!!

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

And just like that, I was out of options of people to talk to. Rose was as mysterious as always, John was clueless, and there was no way in hell I was gonna talk to the trolls. Especially Karkat, cause he was a big old fuckass. But that was beside the point. I then made it my duty to find the cute shades-wearing dork and bring him back to his senses. Thankfully, I had some useful alchemized items that complemented my status as the Witch of Space. They’d let me find him easily no matter where he was in the Incipisphere, which is what I figured I should’ve done first in hindsight, but hey. At least I’m trying!

As it turned out, Dave was hiding on LOHAC. Typical, but a bit odd. If he was trying to hide himself, it’d make more sense to go somewhere you’re not expected to be found, right? Unless his decision was fueled by his ironic antics, which was probably what happened. I wouldn’t put it past him. In any case, Dave wasn’t exactly doing anything. He stood tall upon a platform on his planet, either staring off into the distance or using his iShades. Either was likely, and equally so. God, he looked so gorgeous. Green’s SUCH a great color on him. Uh... anyway, yeah.

I got up from my bed, slipping on my cute squiddle computer shoes in case I needed them for quick access to Pesterchum. I was NOT going to be forgetful this time. Not when my friend is in desperate need for a massive feelings jam. And possibly cuddles. I would love cuddles. I’d even do cuddles “ironically”, if that was a thing. With Dave, I could pretty much count on it. And I’d look forward to it. Maybe even a ki--

Gah, Jade, stop fantasizing. You have to focus. You can think about this stuff later once it’s actually important. So I reached LOHAC quickly with my spacey thing (traveling didn’t take long for me) and I ended up on the other side of the planet. Ugh, I really needed to get better at this Space stuff, but that’s for another time. I tried my luck at my powers again, and this time, I managed to get closer to Dave’s location, at the cost of a slight headache due to mental strain. I just hoped that he wouldn’t slip away once I got there. He could very easily just jump to a different timeline, and I needed to talk to him.

One platform... two platforms... three platforms... and I got tired. Why couldn’t this planet have more solid ground?! Just a bunch of lava and machinery, which was really annoying and exhausting and stupid stupid stupid! I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, and Dave still hadn’t moved or done much of anything. This was really out of place for him. I had to reach him.

After several minutes, I reached Dave’s platform, and he didn’t appear to have heard nor seen me. He definitely hadn’t moved at all since I last looked at him. I started to wonder if maybe he was... no, no, that’s not possible. Or was it? No! I shoved the morbid thoughts out of my mind. I quietly approached Dave and carefully greeted him.

“Uh... hi Dave,” I said a bit shyly.

He didn’t answer. This was so strange. I was starting to get extremely worried.

“I came to see if you were doing okay!” I explained, politely. “We haven’t talked in a little while, so I’m just checking up on you. Dave?”

I walked up to him from behind and placed a hand on his arm, and he jerked it away and turned a different direction for a couple steps, away from me.

“Dave... are you okay?” I asked gently.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dave replied coolly. “I feel like a million bucks about to be spent by a junkie hobo.”

“Then can you look at me, please?”

He turned slowly, and nothing out of the ordinary appeared to be on his face, at least not that I could tell. His shades blocked his eyes as well as nearly a third of his face, so that complicated any further analysis. He still looked like the perfect poker player, and this was troubling.

“See?” he affirmed. “I’m peachy fucking keen. Nothing to worry about.”

Although Dave clearly wasn’t “peachy fucking keen”, and I needed some way to get him to open up. This was not gonna be easy.

“What’cha been up to?” I asked, attempting small talk. I smiled, trying to hide my own motives. And it was hard not to smile in front of him.

“Nothing really,” he shrugged. “Just enjoying the view.”

“This whole time?” I wondered, cocking my head to the side. “How long have you been standing there?”

“About a couple hours. No big deal for a Strider.”

I nodded in agreement, but mostly to keep the conversation going. I knew that standing for just a couple hours wasn’t a challenge for anyone, but he probably spent all that time mourning his late Bro. The poor guy. However, I now figured that unless I pushed him, I wasn’t going to get anything but vague answers.

“Did you do anything for Bro now that he’s gone?” I asked tentatively.

“Jade, I told you,” he said. “I’m fine. It’s great of you to care, but I don’t need help with this. Bro died, and that’s that. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Besides, we always had a weird relationship, and he died fighting. That’s what matters to me. Ironically enough, I don’t have time to deal with emotional bullshit that obviously doesn’t exist. So just don’t worry.”

I frowned, and tears threatened to leave my eye sockets. This was so depressing to hear from him. I walked closer to Dave with an outstretched arm.

“Dave, please...” I said, and I’m pretty sure my voice cracked just then. He made a motion with his hands, which most likely meant he was reaching for his timetables. He was going to jump, and I wasn’t going to be able to stop him. Time wasn’t my forte.

“Dave, no!” I cried. “I’m so so sorry! Don’t leave!”

I almost sprinted towards him trying to give him a tacklehug, but he had already disappeared by the time I reached where he stood, and I ended up falling to the ground instead. Waah. My knees were a little banged up, but at that moment I didn’t care. Tears welled in my eyes and I blinked them away. I couldn’t quite get up. I felt weird. It was like a mix of emotions: sadness, confusion, and some others I couldn’t quite identify. Dave was in an entirely different timeline, and I couldn’t reach him.

I had never felt more alone in my life.

So that’s almost where I bring you today at the present time. After that disaster, I cried a bit -okay, a lot- and then teleported back to my house where I shut myself out and ignored my duties as a Space player because I just couldn’t deal with anything. I might have knowledge over what went on in our universe, but that didn’t include time. Which made me feel fucking horrible. Out of ideas, I did something that I never thought I’d do, but I was desperate. I opened Pesterchum, and the very person I needed to talk to was online. Whether or not that made me feel happy or encouraged, I really couldn’t say. But yeah. Here’s the pesterlog. Take it for what it is. I need to show it anyway.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

GG: hello karkat   
GG: i need your help :\   
CG: HOLY SHIT, IT’S HARLEY   
CG: COMMUNICATING WITH ME OUT OF NOWHERE OF HER OWN VOLITION   
CG: HOLD THAT THOUGHT WHILE I GO INFORM MY DISGRACE OF A CLOWN FRIEND ABOUT THIS TRUE REAL LIFE MIRACLE, IT MIGHT LIVEN HIS SPIRITS   
CG: I HAVE TO SPREAD THE WICKED WORD LIKE I’M MASSAGING SHITTY SPARKLEDUST AROUND MY NETHER REGIONS TO ASSUAGE A VICIOUS RASH   
CG: IT’S LIKE I’M SEASONING A FUCKING STEAK HERE.   
GG: i knew i would regret this   
GG: talking to you is so horrible   
GG: its making my mood worse   
CG: OH YEAH, BECAUSE TALKING TO YOU HAS JUST BEEN ABSOLUTE EUPHORIA.   
CG: DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT BAD MOODS.   
CG: RIGHT NOW I’M TRYING TO HOLD TOGETHER MY TRAINWRECK OF A GODDAMN TEAM WHILE YOU’RE SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN YOUR POINTLESS SESSION.   
CG: PEOPLE ARE DOING NOTHING BUT FUCKING ABOUT OVER HERE, AND IT’S BEEN GETTING ON MY GODDAMN NERVES.   
GG: uuuugh shut uuuuup!   
GG: will you just listen to me?   
CG: WOW, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO BE AGGRESSIVE.   
CG: I’M ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR SHEER ASSERTIVENESS.   
CG: I’M ALMOST LEFT SPEECHLESS. ALMOST.   
CG: BUT SURE, GO RIGHT FUCKING AHEAD, JADE. TELL GOOD OLD KARKAT WHAT’S ON YOUR PITIFUL MIND. I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.   
GG: okay, so...   
GG: you know my friend dave?   
CG: I WISH I DIDN’T. HE’S AN ASSHOLE. BUT YEAH.   
GG: hes been kind of avoiding us lately   
GG: i tried to see what was up   
GG: and he jumped to a different place in time before i could do anything :(   
GG: since you and your friends can apparently view us from different timelines or whatever   
GG: could you maybe look for him and tell me where he is?   
CG: SHIT, HARLEY. I’D ALMOST SAY YOU WERE FLUSHED FOR THE DOUCHE.   
GG: hes NOT a douche! and im not... flushed for him, or whatever!!   
CG: FINE FINE, WHATEVER. SURE, I GUESS I’LL HUMOR YOU, FOR WHAT FUCKING GOOD THAT’LL DO. WHICH IS NONE AT ALL, BY THE WAY. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.   
GG: :|   
CG: ANYWAY, IT LOOKS LIKE HE WENT BACK IN TIME ABOUT A DAY. I CAN’T SEE MUCH ELSE BEYOND A THICK WALL OF GREEN SHIT THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD COME OUT OF THE FUCKING MOTHER GRUB.   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?   
GG: its not important   
GG: but thanks, karkat   
CG: YOU KNOW, I COULD BE FUCKING WITH YOU.   
CG: WHO’S TO SAY I DIDN’T JUST PULL A GODDAMN LIE OUT OF MY ASS?   
CG: YOU’D NEVER KNOW, BECAUSE I’M SUPERIOR TO YOU.   
CG: I KNOW MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO IMAGINE.   
GG: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:(   
GG: i know youre not messing with me   
GG: and to think i thought there was a small chance you were actually a nice person   
GG: instead of this overbearing grubfucking fuckass like you always are   
GG: thanks for helping me karkat, but if you dont mind im gonna close this now   
CG: GOODBYE, JADE. MY FEELINGS WERE HURT DEEPLY BY THAT. LET THE GUILT OF YOUR RUDENESS WEIGH ON YOUR MIND FOR ALL ETERNITY.   
GG: . . .

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

So after that horrible conversation, all I felt was worse, because I realized what that all meant the moment Karkat typed it. Dave was going to try to save Bro in the past, causing history to be changed. That sounds like a good idea, but it was horrible to think about. I may not be a Time player, but I know that bad things happen to those who mess with things that were meant to happen. At least I believe so, because it’s altering the future, and that’s just bad! I can’t explain it, but I just have that feeling.

So here is where my story comes to the present. I’m in this predicament and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I feel alone, useless, and just... UGH. The boy of my dreams is off doing things he probably shouldn’t be doing, and I’m stuck here in my home. For all I know, he already saved Bro and stopped existing in our timeline or something. Or maybe now our timeline is trapped in purgatory. This sucks so much. I just... I just want to be with him-- wait. What was that??

A sudden crash happened somewhere a few floors below my room. It was loud enough to be heard, but soft enough for me to accurately judge the distance between whatever just appearified in my house.

Whoa... I think I better go check that out. I wasn’t expecting anyone to visit.

I, in my stupid anxiousness, completely ran past my own appearifier, and instead took the long flight downstairs, traveling three steps at a time. The trip would have been so much quicker if I wasn’t so dumb. I put no thoughts into my mind as to who could possibly be in my house right now, as I didn’t want to raise my hopes of it being Dave. But a tiny speck of hope remained in my heart, just in case he was really here.

After some time, I finally reached the location from which the sound originated. What I found almost made me cry again. A crumpled heap of lime green with spots of red that looked horribly like blood was laying in the corner of the gray room, the body it belonged to trembling violently. This was as unironic for Dave as could possibly be in any stretch of paradox space. He was a total mess. I approached Dave cautiously, not wanting to disturb him.

“Dave? Hey... what’s wrong?” I asked.

“I couldn’t save him,” he replied shakily. “I tried so many times. I couldn’t even fucking save myself, how many there were.”

Tears threatened to well up in my eyes again, but I had to be strong this time. For him. I closed the distance between us and placed a comforting hand on his back, careful to avoid the blood.

“I’m so sorry, Dave,” I said, patting him gently. “It’ll be okay.”

He grabbed my hand suddenly and held it tight. My heart almost leaped out of my chest, but I somehow managed to maintain composure.

“No... fuck,” he said angrily. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot for thinking that I had any chance to change the future. I was an idiot with the way I fucking acted towards you. You didn’t deserve that shit, not even ironically. It was low, even for me.” His voiced cracked at the end of that sentence, which I found cute, but also heartbreaking.

There were definitely tears now. At least for me. I was both happy and sad, because while that was incredibly sweet of him to say, it was so unlike his usual self it showed me just how broken he probably felt. I hated to do it to him, but I had to. I helped him to his feet and dusted his suit off the best I could. Then I gave him a huge hug, which made those annoying butterflies appear in my tummy and my head spin a bit, which was currently against his chest.

“Don’t worry,” I consoled him. “I don’t blame you for anything. You were just doing what you thought was for the best.”

He pulled me closer to him, which made my face a bit hot. Okay. This is where Jade Harley becomes super awkward in front of a cute boy. I realized my mouth was hanging open like an airhead, and I shut it promptly.

“I wish there was something I could do to save him,” he said. I couldn’t see his eyes, but he actually started crying. Not a lot, but enough for me to tell. There was a stream of tears rolling down his face. “But he’s dead. And that’s fucking that. This is so uncool.”

Tentatively, I put my hands on both sides of his face and started pulling off his shades, much to his disapproval.

“Whoa, whoa, Jade,” he began to say. “Not the shades, I can’t--”

“Shh,” I interrupted, pulling them off all the way and seeing those gorgeous red eyes, slightly puffy with tears. I wiped his face with the sleeve of my Eclectica dress. I couldn’t help but stare at him, my own face reddening a bit, admittedly. “Be alive with me today, Dave. That’s all that matters. You still have me, John, and Rose. Even the trolls. We’ll get through this.”

And that’s when I pulled him into a kiss, unable to control myself anymore.

I’m not exactly sure what happened in the couple minutes after that, because my brain went all fuzzy, but I can tell you that it was amazing. No, that doesn’t even do it justice. It was the greatest thing I had ever felt in my life. I pressed my lips against his, tasting his mouth and breathing in his wonderful scent, minus the blood that was on his clothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck while he did the same around my waist. It was so wonderful to be with him like this. I never imagined I’d ever be worthy of his irony. But there was nothing ironic about this. Not between us now. This was simply wonderful. He was wonderful.

“You know, Jade,” he said after we separated from the kiss. “You’re actually pretty cool.”

I blushed a deep shade of scarlet at his compliment. This was a thing. “You really think so?!”

“I mean what I say sometimes,” he replied, actually smiling this time. The first time I had ever seen him wear anything but a stone-faced expression. I kissed him again for that. God, that felt so good.

“And you’ve always been sooooo cool!!!!!” I replied, quoting myself in past conversations. He rolled his eyes. “So... does this mean we’re together now?”

“I don’t know, Jade, does it?” he teased. “It would be pretty fucking ironic if we weren’t after what you just pulled.”

I smiled. This was a wonderful, wonderful idea. And with him, I hope it will last until the end of time.


End file.
